


Sometimes I accidentally forget it's time to sleep and I drink lots of coffee before bed.
Last night I listened to the ticking of my bedside clock, counting the minutes of sleep that kept passing
over my head and out of reach. Once I can hear Will's breathing
become feathery and very slow, I'm left to wrestle with all the tornadoes in my brain and close any doors that
keep trying to creak open. But it's not always easy to keep them shut with the tornadoes, you see. Once I
close one door, tiny twisters push open another and another.
My constellations glowing above me, crooked star shapes --
They always seem to move and breathe and my mind goes to the most unusual places.
I thought about a girl who I have never met, who was hiding under a
kitchen table, peeking out at me. Sometimes she would
just watch and sometimes she would laugh so loud i had to cover my ears --
Sometimes she would be cradling an infant in her
arms and humming him softly to sleep, curled up like a great feline under the big oak table, a white
garden dress covered in brown earth and dirty feet stained with soot.
I'm not sure why I imagine these people, or who they are. But sometimes I wonder if they really
exist, somewhere else in the world..and that I just haven't met them yet. Maybe I'm supposed to meet
them. And they're supposed to meet me, too.